Funny things I've heard recently:
Me: Why does Victoria Beckham always look so upset in pictures?
Dry Wit Person: It's because she's so hungry all the time.
Dry Wit Person also told me that a character actor whose name I cannot remember was asked who was the strangest person he'd ever worked with and he said Tom Cruise. No surprise there, but when asked to further explain the actor said:
"He's the biggest homophob I've ever met. We'd be sitting around between shoots and he'd be like 'This is good ice cream. Sure glad there's no gays around.'"
Somehow that was much funnier when Dry Wit Person told it, but I'm gonna leave it here because, well, the delete button is all the way up there.
Guy Who Is Very Often At My Workplace: Who is that guy who played for Chicago? Man, he could jump. I seen him jump from the free throw line and dunk. He's really good. What's his name?
Sports Editor (confused): Michael Jordan? Are you talking about Michael Jordan?
GWIVOAMW: Michael Jordan. Yeah.
My girlfriend sends me the most awesome internet stuff of all time. The backlog is too numerous at this point, but I think I'll start sharing some of the goodness on here in the upcoming posts. Here's a sample, and here. Envy me for having such a badass cool chick. I can feel you envying me and it feels good.
Michael Jordan. Damn.
Harold Bloom can eat apparitions and choke (and be saved, I’m not that monster). The ghost of my grandfather showed up during rep...
Best Small Fictions 2017 Guest Editor Amy Hempel Series Editor Tara L. Masih Braddock Avenue Books (September, 2017) $13 (Braddock Av...
This is awkward. Anytime a person says the sentence I'm getting ready to say, it nearly always implies they mean the exact opposite. Bu...