The Whiner. The Hypnotist. The Legendary.

Must complain. Please bear with.

The fifth college I've applied to since getting my MFA two years ago just told me to go to hell this morning. Worse, of those five colleges, not one has even allowed me the chance to sit down for an interview. I'm always weeded out during the "reviewing candidates" stage.

Here's the rub – I know what's going on, I think. I've been keeping tabs. These college are hiring out of state professors with TEACHING EXPERIENCE. I have only high school teaching experience, no college.

Paradox begins to materialize before your very eyes.

You're getting sleepy, very sleepy.

You're fully asleep.

Now, when I count to three you will travel to five colleges around the region, ask to speak to the presidents of these five colleges about the virtues of hiring local professors who can actually relate to their students and therefore provide a more rounded college experience and soon after you will wake up to find a better world for all your convincing.

Okay, I'm done.

I have a story up today at The Legendary called "Girl Spotted During the Solo." There's also a picture of me smoking a cigarette to go with said story. I look confused in the picture, but I'm really just upset. I can't remember why, but I'm sure there was a good reason. The story is okay, though. Check it out here.