Tuesday, November 28, 2017
A Post with No Structure, Part of an Ongoing Collection
Home alone today...for awhile at least. My father in law is bringing me lunch in an hour or so and my daughter will be coming by to see me later this afternoon. My great love Heather is back at work after a week and a half off with me for the surgery. I miss her and the house is quiet and lonely and strange.
It's been a couple of hours since I started this blog post. I've had my lunch and now I'm watching Criminal Minds in that binge kind of way I tend to do when I need my mind fully occupied. Talked with Heather a few minutes ago and I've got a plan to talk my family doc into signing a release for me to return to work with no duties. That kind of thing. I'd do better sitting at work and talking with my friends and being able to see Heather than I am sitting here lonesome and feeling strange and out of sorts.
Well, this isn't very interesting, I imagine. It's recovery rambling without purpose. Been doing a lot of that here lately. What can I say? Not much in the mood to write pieces that have essay-like precision et cetera. Not really sure I can do that or ever have. Doesn't matter.
Doesn't matter. Yes indeed. That's something that's happened since my heart surgery. My lifeline has been shortened. Well, it's been lengthened. But at the same time I have to face the reality that I have a bad heart. A really bad heart and a blood disorder that makes it even worse. I'm not going to trying to figure out what to do during my eighties. Let's put it that way. But the doesn't matter thing can be summed up by saying that with certain perspective a sizable chunk of worries and concerns just sort of slide away. A person begins to focus on the really really big stuff, the important stuff. Family, loved ones. A sense of purpose, of place. The little things really and honestly do not matter all that much.
Rambling again.
Okay, so I'm going to sign off for now. I've got another episode of Criminal Minds coming up and I'm due some Tylenol, as my sore and aching chest and heart muscle has been telling me for the past hours.
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It's nice coming here regularly & hearing you get better, get a new perspective on your life. Having a Great Love has helped me weather many a storm, too. It's great how everything fits when it fits. We're having a bit of trouble with the "little things" over here right now - neighborhood stuff - and reading about your struggles calms me down. I'm also not making plans for my eighties but I hope to have a few more breaths in me. Those novels aren't going to write themselves, you know. I'm not going to say "speedy recovery", because it sounds as if you're in it for a longer haul but I continue to hope it goes well for you - books and films and music and loved ones, flowers in the spring and a cat on your knees, that should do it, mate.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm always grateful when you stop by and drop a line, my friend. And I LOVE that you have a Great Love, too. God it does make all the difference for sure. I hate to hear about bad rumblings in your neighborhood. You'll have to feel me in if you want by email or something. Or not. Just know my ears are open, man.
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