Bought a Pepsi this morning when I really wanted coffee.
The coffee here at the office is made of something chemical-based used to freeze flying fecal matter inside homes existing near sewer grates. The chemical is then captured (with fecal matter in tow) and then placed in blue containers. A woman who sits across from me and only smiles when exercising her once-broken elbow while medicated then scoops the crystallized form of this into the coffee pot, adds water and then, defying all points of human logic, IV drip drinks it the entire work day.
So I bought a Pepsi and cursed her medicated, brown smile.
Speaking of the office (an open newsroom in which I spend the day peeling potatoes) the temperature in here, as of 9:06 a.m. is a kooky 65 degrees F. I'd write more about that, but I had a friend once get fired for something he wrote on his blog. It went something like this:
I hope everybody in _______ gets ________ by a _________!
People nearly shit themselves. I believe, in my heart, they feared for their lives. They watched the windows and double locked doors. They hugged their children and told them they loved them and ad nausem, etc. and so on. I also believe they probably indulged themselves in most every nasty fantasy they ever dreamed of in what they were sure would be their final hours. Just imagine.....no seriously, just imagine. You have a better imagination than I do. You can make it as funasty as you want. No one will tell.
I hope everybody turns into ___________ and flips through __________ while chirp, chirp, chirping to a endless stream of ____________.
I thought so.
Oh, I almost forgot to use my new linking powers. Let's give this a try.
"What’s got you down?” he asked her. “Tell me the story—I’ll give it a happy ending."
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